Is this where I put “Hello, World” or some such? Because, at the risk of sounding like I belong in a museum, that feels gauche.

At any rate, hello, cruel world. The name’s Dr. Nedford P. D. Q. Caratacus, Esquire. Unfortunately, I seem to be another single* white** novelist making his way through the biz.

*(And not ready to mingle – Good Lord, do not Google duck mating habits. Every duckling that ever peeps is the by-product of a broken home. You’ll find more wholesome love stories with Alex DeLarge in them.)
**(Plumage.)

I was, more or less, thrust into the position of author against my will. It all started when I bet a sum of R̵̟̎̓E̸̙͗͝Ą̴̀̇L̷̲̾I̵̿̈ͅT̶͍̐Y̷͔͍͛͑ with a rather unpleasant fella by the name of T̷̞̺̚Ĥ̸̳̔E̷̲̯͝ ̶̠͋P̵͎̔͝Ȧ̷̰͋L̶̰͈͐Ë̷̘́ ̵͚̽̏Ḣ̴̲Ȃ̴̺̿W̷̫̄̓K̵͇̏ on the Cubs losing the 2016 World Series. Naturally, Ȟ̵͙̺̅E̶̱͕̊͝,̴͓̚ ̸̟̀͊U̷̠̳͐̈́N̵̲͙̆̎S̴̛͇̥̀P̵̭̒́E̷͚͍̅Á̵̘K̵̖̮͒̈Ḁ̶̓B̷̠̮̌̍L̵̖͔̆É̵̡̓ͅ ̶̘̄͝A̸̮̳̿N̵̹̑̕ͅD̷͎̲̕͝ ̷̬̭̆̀E̴̪͉͂͂T̵̠̜̒E̶͔͋̿R̶̤̈́Ṇ̶̃͝A̷̞̅̚L̴͉̬̓L̸̛̤͌ͅY̴͍͍̊̃ ̴͚̣͂̈́I̶̭̔͝M̴̛̜̤̅P̶̟̐É̷̖͔͘R̴̼̚Č̶̟E̷͕͛̈I̶͎̭̅͑V̴͇̭̓̓A̷̝͝B̶̹̟͆͗L̷̻̇Ë̸̖̘́̾ ̸̻̿H̴̘̄Ë̵̼ won the bet, and I was forced to observe & record the actions of some chumps over in Luminar.

But as my mother always told me: a Caratacus always finds a way to thrive in his surroundings, no matter how bleak! (She also bit my cousin’s eyes out because she was starving, but that’s neither here nor there.)

I’ll have you know, my family are the proud descendants (don’t ask how, it gets real squicky real fast) of the first-century British king Caratacus. He fought tooth and nail against the Roman Empire in a single mountain encampment, wearing only a blue G-string. Naturally, a neighboring queen narc’d on him, and Caratacus was dragged to Rome in chains.

But he and his family were pardoned by King Claudius and lived in Rome as guests.

Because he asked nicely.

So, in the spirit of that tradition, I have no intention of letting H̵̨̜̏͂Ë̸̤̤́̕ ̷̫̣̀͝W̶̨̟̄H̷̟̤̓̾Ö̷̖́ ̵̤̕H̷̯̹͐̈́Ê̴̺͛Á̸͈̋R̴͉̟̆S̶̛̤,̵̬̪̿͝ ̸̺̅̐B̸̫͑̚U̶̞͒̍Ṯ̶̣͌ ̷̩̚D̴̤̋O̷̢̍̕Ḛ̵͎̽S̸̟̋ ̴̘̀H̸͉̆E̸̫̫͘ ̷̜̲̎L̷̢̯͗̒Ĭ̷͚̙Š̶̱Ṱ̴̎̐E̷͖͌Ņ̸̕?̴̡͑̌?̶̖̕?̷̗͒̾ down!

So, here in my corner of the World Wide Court of Public Opinion, you’ll find the following:

• A few cobbled-together thinkpieces on this-and-that for publishing & current events.
• Guides, profiles, artwork, maps, & other lore for the world of my LitRPG saga, Neverstone.
• Information about new & forthcoming projects from yours truly.

Keep on quackin’, fellow countrymen.