HELLO.
IT IS I, SCREAMING DANIEL. FAITHFUL SERVANT OF KING ASARGIRRU. GUARDIAN OF THE SEVENFOLD STAFF. I AM HERE TO SCREAM AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM*.
*(WHAT THE HELL IS BUBBLEGUM?!)
IT IS MY DUBIOUS HONOR TO TELL YOUR FACES THIS INFORMATION FOR YOU TO HAVE.
YOU MAY BE FAMILIAR WITH NEVERSTONE BOOK THREE: NOAH THE RED, A.K.A. THE ONE WHERE NOAH LOSES HIS SHIT AND HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN TO LITERALLY EVERYONE AND THERE’S AT LEAST ONE BANJO AND A GUY GETS A WEASEL FOR A FINGER AND MISCHA WEARS A CODPIECE TO COVER HIS PENIS.
YOUR MIND MAY HAVE USED ITS WONDERING MACHINES TO WONDER: WHERE THE HIGGITY WIGGITY DIGGITY FUCK I MEAN VOG IS THE AUDIO VERSION?! (I’M A FAN OF THE AUDIOBOOK VERSIONS ESPECIALLY ON THE GROUNDS THAT ONE: SCREAMING IS AN AUDIO THING, AND TWO: P.J. OCHLAN USES HIS NARRATING SKILLS TO MAKE THE FINEST NOISES EVER PUKED OUT OF A HUMAN THROAT [OTHER THAN SCREAMING]!)
WELL IT IS YOUR LUCKY DAY.
BEHOOOOOOLD!
https://tantor.com/noah-the-red-ned-caratacus.html
THAT IS A HYYYYYPERLINK. IT GOES TO THE AUDIOBOOK VERSION THAT WILL BE AVAILABLE ON TUUUUESDAY DECEMBER 13TH!
HOORAY!
I HAVE ALREADY OVERSTAYED MY WELCOME. I AM NOW GOING TO GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND CRY DEEPLY.
LATER!
Ned Caratacus: Author, Scholar, Duck 